Bombardier Beer: Which Century Are We Living In?

It's been a lean time out on the Orca of late. Too many bow-legged women, not enough beery fuckwittery. But Bombardier have made up for it in spades.

In short: Rik Mayall plays a piss-poor-pastiche of his Blackadder-era Lord Flashheart character, shouting a lot and touching his groin whist hailing the virtues of Wells Bombardier bitter. The video is bad enough - irony seemingly a lost concept as a brain-injury survivor headbutts cannonballs and celebrates an English victory with a beer that has an Old French name.

But the attendant website - sweet fucking Jesus. It's slick, interactive, well-made and utterly pointless. You can Like it all you like, you still can't polish a turd of a pint. Whether that's the 4.1, 4.3 or 4.7% version. What's the difference between the versions, I hear you say? Possibly taxation and supermarket profit margin rates, we're guessing.

Wells & Young have apparently spunked the thick end of £4 million on this campaign. A fair wodge of that may end up in the coffers of their PR partners, Kaper. Here's hoping that Jocasta and Jeremy spend their bonuses on quality china rather than shit bitter.  At this rate we've high hopes for a rebranding of another Kaper client, Pot Noodle. Rumours of a Tuna Bukakke special edition are, however, unsubstantiated.

You've been close before, but for marrying an outdated comedy skit with an overelaborate marketing campaign that most of your punters won't give three shits about - congratulations, Bombardier. You've Jumped The Beer Shark!